Rest and recovery

The reflection today is about rest and recovery.

I am guilty of overdoing sometimes (like lately). And I am also guilty of underdoing sometimes. I have punished myself a lot throughout my life for both these things. The fear that creative flow will cease if I don’t grasp it tight. And the discomfort when I am not producing. When I can’t produce. When my system doesn’t want to.

In a society which admires productivity, the race is the top. That is an avenue which I still have to consciously choose not to run. I don’t even want the top. I have no idea what’s there and I don’t care to find out. But sometimes I still find myself off-guard, me against me, in a race through time and space to create, to produce, to be ready. And ready for what? Again, I have no idea. It’s just so deeply ingrained in my cells.

I have learned recently about the non-linearity of life. I like this concept a lot. It makes sense to me. Because then there is nowhere to run, nowhere to race. Just windy paths that twist and turn. Roads where you can’t see the destination. And views that will surprise you with awe and wonder.

For me, there is two types of knowing. One is when you know because you’ve been told. When you understand it in your mind. And the second is when you know in your body because you have seen or felt it yourself. It’s when your cells understand. I find that the latter, for myself, takes longer. The physical takes time. As it should. A word travels a lot faster than a plane.

And I will get to my point now, because the speed now is going in spirals too.

Last night I had a dream where I was ill. I had this strange condition. My body told me to stop. To stop eating sugar (desserts in Uruguay are delicious). To stop giving. To stop working all hours. To stop producing.

I launched my YouTube meditation channel today. And the work in the background—oh dear—it has been intense. But it is all scheduled now. Stop worrying. Enjoy it. Watch it take flight. And I think that was the message.

Everything we do—sport, therapy, energy work—everything requires integration after. It requires rest and recovery. It is a spiral. It is the cycle. It is the peaks and valleys of this non-linearity.

And for me, sometimes— a lot of the times— I struggle to realise when I should get off the train. Stop travelling and just arrive. In integration. In embodiment. In myself.

So I know this reflection is a little bit different. Not the nuggets of divine that I usually share. But maybe my blog was calling for rest and recovering too. And here we are.

It is the solstice today. And there is enough going on on my YouTube. Let these pages breathe. And maybe they can understand. And maybe this helps me to understand it in my cells.